Methodologies

Our innovative approach to changing the parent/child relationship and supporting families has evolved since 2002. It has been co-created with 1,000’s of children, young people, parents and professionals working in homes, schools and Children’s Centres, to achieve the transformational changes from our approach. An open mind is the fundamental requirement.

We have now moved into education to support the second most powerful influence on a child. Our purpose is to help participants create personal empowerment, to connect them to their innate abilities and wisdom, in order to trust their instincts/intuition/gut feelings and love themselves.

The theoretical approach is a rich mixture of coaching, emotional literacy and mindfulness techniques, underpinned by neuroscience and founded in the work of Perls, Kolb, Jung and Rogers.

  • Fritz Perls (1893-1970) developed Gestalt Therapy, which focused on raising self-awareness in order to distinguish between a person’s true nature and the personality they have developed in order to adapt to their environment. By becoming aware of their true nature, a person can then identify ways to achieve what makes them happy.
  • David Kolb (1939) has developed a theory (experiential learning) on the ways in which adults more successfully learn. He believes that we learn best by having hands-on experience of whatever it is we are learning and by then reflecting on our experiences, which then leads to greater absorption of the subject matter.
  • Carl Jung (1875-1961) made a huge contribution to the way in which we view the nature of human development and existence. One of these contributions was the idea of the Collective Unconscious, which is the linking of all people in the deepest part of our minds.
  • Carl Rogers (1902-1987) developed the person-centred psychotherapy approach in which he believed that if a person was provided with a totally accepting, non-judgemental relationship they would then be able to resolve their difficulties and find ways to successfully restructure their lives.

Coaching

I discovered the power of life coaching in 2002 and what I loved about it, is that the 2 main doctrines are self-awareness and self-responsibility.  It starts with building self-esteem and confidence and builds into personal empowerment and self responsibility.

We started using coaching techniques with children and young people with wonderful results. We also discovered that they weren’t emotionally mature enough to stay resourceful in a challenging environment, so logically we focussed on changing the family dynamic.

Perhaps the biggest challenge is that you have to want a different result badly enough to step out of your comfort zone, I believe that 95% of people won’t take that step? It’s not an intervention that’s done to you, it’s a collaboration where we work together, and it will fundamentally transform your life, if you choose!

Emotional literacy

Emotional literacy enables us to communicate and understand our emotions appropriately and effectively with others and lead happier, more satisfying lives. We believe that the recognition and ability to use the ‘energetic connection’ in relationships with others, whether they are part of our immediate family, friends, colleagues or any of the others we come into contact with is the foundation of emotional literacy. See the ‘energetic connection’ below.

Energetic connection (Mindfulness)

Jon Kabat-Zinn created the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program and he says “It’s a way of being” which is what we have been doing and using the phrase ‘Energetic Connection’.

It’s not an alien concept: it is in fact something that is fundamental to our closest relationships, which we experience every day but are unaware of the huge potential for all our relationships.

When you walk into a room you can sense if you’re comfortable or not, you can sense someone behind you. Or felt the presence of a loved one before you see or hear them? Or noted the way that a child can sometimes sense your mood with astonishing perception, perhaps even before you enter a room? Call it sensitivity, gut instinct, intuition… we know that it exists and that it lies at the heart of our closest relationships.

When it comes to maximising the energetic connection, we know, for example that we can learn from our children. How? Because children are naturally hugely sensitive. Life can de-sensitise us as we grow, but tuning back into that sensitively, relaxing and listening to our instincts is the key to allowing the energetic connection to flourish between ourselves and others.

Feeling good about yourself makes everything feel easier. Your children are happier and more content and the opposite is true when you’re angry or stressed. A positive energetic connection holds huge potential.

We first started talking about the energetic connection in 2004 and now we find neuroscience has discovered that we have complex, adaptive and functional brains in both our heart and gut, called the cardiac and enteric brains respectively. Science is finally catching up with deep insights from esoteric and spiritual traditions informing us for thousands of years about these three powerful intelligences of head, heart and gut. This is the work of Marvin Oka and Grant Soosalu and mBraining.

Marvin and Grant have discovered:
The brain in your head is for executive decisions, including analytical & creative thought – creativity
The brain in your heart is about empathy, relationships & values – compassion
The brain in your gut is about security, courage & motivation – courage

And what these brains have to offer increases your intuitive abilities, for immediately generating wiser decision-making in your daily life and you can tap into the innate intelligence of your multiple brains.

Neuroscience

An enormous and rapidly evolving methodology.  Here’s a very straightforward explanation for a complex science from Daniel Goleman’s ‘Social Intelligence’:

“Neuroscience has discovered that our brain’s very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain – and so the body – of everyone we interact with, just as they do us.”

Positive connections with others, causes a release of oxytocin. Oxytocin stimulates serotonin and dopamine production creating experiences of contentment and ideal states for learning and neuroplastic change, where facilitative coaching is the mode of change.

In “Why Love Matters” by Sue Gerhardt where she is talking about the development of brains in babies, she says the ‘Orbitofrontal cortex is found behind the eyes and is a big part of our story as it plays a key role in our emotional life’. So it struck me that there may be a link between the Orbitofrontal cortex and the third eye? Research at the University of Leipzig shows that the human OFC is activated during intuitive coherence judgements. And the third eye is said to be located around the middle of the forehead, slightly above the junction of the eyebrows.