Before I started the Parent Champion course, my life was stressful, repetitive and felt like it was going nowhere fast. I did not value myself at all and upon reflection this affected my family directly, particularly my children. I had no confidence and would never stand up for myself or say that dreaded ‘no’ word to people, for fear of them disliking me for it. General concern of what people thought of me was also an issue. I never gave time to myself and would always put my partner and children first, from what they wanted for dinner, where they wanted to go on a day out, to shopping trips, even when spending my own birthday money. I always saw the negative in everything and believed all I did was never good enough.
I struggled at a time in my life where I had a miscarriage shortly before the course started and I became stuck in a rut where I blamed myself for everything. My low self-esteem made me feel unworthy of the smallest of things and I felt unsupported but this was partly due to not asking for any support and assuming it would be given to me spontaneously. I always took on everybody’s problems, believing it was my duty to help them.
From doing the course, I have learned that I can believe in myself and I have to be happy and comfortable with myself for my children to do so themselves. I have also learnt how to deal with things that don’t always go right or how they were meant to…after all, I am allowed to make mistakes!! I have also learnt to appreciate and reward myself for the achievements and successes I make, no matter how big or small. I have learnt to understand my children better, sometimes without even speaking to them, just listening.
I have also learnt that listening is such a powerful tool when done to its full potential. I realised my children have voices and opinions too, and they should be able to show these without being pushed to the side as they are ‘just children’. I can guide them if their decisions are, in my opinion, wrong. However, they will not learn unless they realise that their decisions have consequences. I have learnt to give time to myself and allow myself to have goals in order to progress in my life, ensuring I can reach my dreams. I now know that communication is very important in my relationships with my loved ones
Now I have completed the course, I know I can do anything I truly want. I am much calmer and deal with situations so much better than what I used to. I have more confidence and I actually like who I am…if anyone else doesn’t then that’s not my fault! I am proud of who I am, what I have and what I achieved and I am truly worthy of the time I give myself. I talk to my partner and children more and also allow my kids to make choices, making them happier and prouder of their decisions. Since the course I sleep so much better, and I believe this is due to being able to empty my mind each time I go to bed, instead of letting things go round in my head. I also realise that other people’s problems are not my problems, and I will not be any less of a human being for concentrating on my well-being more than that of other people around me. Doing the Parent Champion course has enabled me (indirectly) to deal with certain struggles in my life such as the miscarriage and be more positive in everything that I do.
I used to ‘try’ and do things, setting myself up for feeling like a failure. Now I choose to do things which I know I can achieve, making myself a happier and more content, which has a positive affect on my family. Nobody else has done this for me, I have achieved it myself, with people like my Parent Champion colleagues helping me to see my potential. For this I am truly grateful