“My life can most aptly be described as a mess; a muddle of bad circumstance, negative experiences, troubled relationships and lack of strength to cope with it all! It would be difficult to say who I was, as I was many people. I was whoever I believed I was expected to be; a different person to my parents, partner, children, school, local authority professionals….. so bogged down by trying to make everyone else happy, I made myself miserable.
A good analogy would be to consider outer space; me a small rock in a huge galaxy thrashing through an unknown universe being constantly bashed and disfigured by its environment. From the course, I’ve been able to view this differently, my life is still as described, but like the formation of a new planet, it is these ‘bashings’ that create a solid, viable and stable state and that is where I am now. I cannot control the weather, but I decide how I let if effect me and how I can then, in turn, influence everything around me.
I’ve been able to understand and accept the concept of energetic connection – it’s always been there, I have always felt it – just never before acknowledged it. I have found it empowering to know this and in revisiting success diaries I can celebrate huge progress. It’s often a ‘small’ action that we pass off, or do not acknowledge, but when consideration is given to the feeling and potential created, it becomes an enormous achievement with a considerable impact on the rest of my life.
There is an age old saying that ‘mother knows best’ and while I’d often dispute this from my own feelings about my mum – I was always told what to do, who to be, how to act and ‘valued’ by academic qualifications only. My opinion didn’t count and so I lost what even I was, my thoughts / dreams weren’t heard so I stopped having them. This course has widened this to understand that I don’t want my beautiful, individual and powerful children to feel this from me. I’ve drawn upon all the negative s.h.i.t. (suppressive happenings influence thought) and turned it into h.i.t.s. (hope is the solution) to use my experiences to improve the experiences of my children. To value them as themselves, to give them the praise, opportunity, understanding, value and honesty I craved as a child.
I really feel that this course has allowed me to rebuild myself – in the form that I want to be, not to please others, but to be the best I can be for me. I cannot pretend that my life is now perfect, it’s not, there is no such thing. Life is not a pretty rose garden, there will always be ‘problems’, ‘tribulations’, ‘weeds’ if you can imagine, that could potentially overcome me, but I believe that this course, in the least, has provided me with the ingredients to make a powerful pesticide.
I am not yet in the stage of truly and unconditionally loving myself, but I have learnt that to do so is not an arrogance, or believing myself to be better, but an acknowledgement of worthiness and being the best that I can be.
Considering the Wheel of Life and my dreams, I can see that making small, SMART goals can link the two together and I can achieve anything, be anything, do anything within my own standard and to my own definition of success. It’s difficult to make the choice to embark on this course, whether low self-esteem, scepticism, or insecurity as soon as you realise that you are in total control of you, of the impact that anything has on you and the influence you have, then you create the potential to make you the best most resourceful, confident and – dare I say it – happy person. In brutal honesty, if you are not ‘happy’ you won’t make anyone else happy. If you don’t like it – change it, as only you can do so.
I would like to use this opportunity to thank Alan and the team for ‘coaching’ my progression on this course. You have given me some of the most important tools to make my life better, to be ‘heard’ – just that phrase alone is something I felt a million miles away from, but you have given me the strength to shout a bit louder. I thank you.”
Ms AB, parent