Before I started the Parent Champion course I was at my wits end with my life and my children. I had no relationship with my eldest daughter except shouting at one another. I felt a failure as a mother and the life and relationships I wanted was far away and I could not reach them. I had no idea how I could change things to get that life and those relationships I wanted desperately.
I always saw the worst in everything I did or was going to do. I dreaded every day whether or not to argue with my eldest or someone was going to tell me I was doing it all wrong. I was on a roller coaster that wouldn’t stop! I needed help but didn’t know where to go.
At her school I was introduced to the home school support worker who helped me tremendously. She asked me if I’d heard of Parent Champion (which I hadn’t) and explained a bit about the course and asked if I’d like to go on it. I agreed to go because it sounded like it could really help. I was so scared of what might happen and how people would look at me but I knew I needed to do it.
My first session at Parent Champion was scary, I didn’t know how to process what was going on. I was scared to go as I thought I was admitting that I had failed. But when I was there I realised there were other parents feeling the same as me and that I was a good person. I just needed a different approach to things.
I was sceptical on how the course would help me and my children but I kept an open mind. Each week put a bit in place that the trainer spoke to us about and started seeing changes in myself. I was calmer and more patient with my children and others. My mum started to see how I handled situations calmly and dealing with the children’s problems in an efficient manner without stressing and shouting.
I now realised I was a very stressed person and my energetic core was very fuzzy to myself and when I connect more energetically I found things very difficult to cope with, but I now enjoy spending time with myself and my children. I share more problems with the people closest to me to find better solutions to my problem if I cannot find one. I know now that success in life can be big or small and mean more to me than anyone else. I praise my children more for their successes and have a better relationship with my eldest.
I also think about the consequences more and choose not to do things that have bad consequences. I allow my children to solve their own problems and find their own answers with a little guidance to help them grow into even better adults and parents.
Other people have noticed changes in me and asked how. I have told them about Parent Champions and how it’s helped me and how grateful I am for everything it has shown me. I recommend Alan Wilson’s book.
I got with my partner in October ‘09 when I was low and relied on him a lot. Whilst doing this course he could see a change in me and the children. He did not like this and put me down a lot. I did not argue with him instead I sat and thought about things and then spoke to him in a reasonable manner but he always made it about him. I think he didn’t like me being stronger than him.
I am going to keep practicing everything I have been shown as I know I have still got a long way to go before my life and relationships are the way I want them to be. The relationship with my children will keep growing and they are a lot happier and relaxed.
I know now good things happen if you believe they will. Positive energy not negative!!!! I will let my children make their own choices as I do not own them. They are our FUTURE!!
I would like to see myself go back to college to get qualifications I need to become an accountant, then get a job and see my children grow into loving and beautiful adults.
Thanks to the Parent Champion course for showing me a new and better way to look at life that works for me.
Since completing the course I have started psychotherapy which has been really helping me get stronger in myself and have split up with my partner due to the lack of support he was giving me. We also split as I could not deal with the constant put downs. I am a good person and deserve more and so do my children.
PS also during the course I moved house!!!”
Mrs Z. Parent